Day 43, Saturday 27th of December 2014

I’m sorry I didn’t get to post last night, dad has supposedly fixed the Internet and now Grandma and Grandad have a new password for it. According to the settings on it, it will only last 2 hours without another charge and Grandma doesn’t have her charger her so I can’t even go on it. I’m typing this on Grandma’s IPad and a day late at that. I should probably start the actual blog post, but I just wanted to say I’m sorry for all that first.

I laid in bed for most of the morning, and when I finally got up to have  breakfast/lunch half the family had taken Ollie for a walk. They were gone for ages and only Benjamin, me, Dad, and Grandad stayed back. When they did come back, I kept reading my book for a bit. Every now and then something reminded me of Master. I touched my iPhone more times than I can count, thinking he could have texted. I’ve almost convinced myself it was habit. Almost. Somewhere around lunchtime, though I couldn’t be sure, Mum said Grandma called and she had said we could go over there for a couple of days. If we wanted to go we had to pack quick. 5 minutes she said. I didn’t want to go, my connection to Master, though he wasn’t talking to me, was here. The pool, which if the following days were anything like today, was here. Our house had cooler airconditioning, a stack of books I had recently gotten from the library (as tall as my knee from the floor), and a daybed out the front. I didn’t want to go to Grandma’s. First I had to give mum a reason. The only one that popped into my head inclded Master. I knew that weird reasons incite questions, and I promised Master that my parents wouldn’t find out about us. That, and I couldn’t figure out how I would even say something like that. So I packed before I got into trouble, and stole away to the currently empty car to text Master. I wasnt sure if I was allowed to text him because of my punishment, but if come Monday I was still without working Internet then I would have been kicking myself for not texting him anyway. Mum and Benjamin came into the car then, and soon dad and Catherine followed. I put my iPhone away before they could see what I was doing. And more importantly, before Benjamin could ask. When we got to grandma’s, I wasn’t feeling too well so I went and laid on my bed, reading the one book I brought with me. We had dinner, and then went on a walk with Ollie. i went to bed, where I worried. And worried. My iPhone was low on power, I couldn’t send Master my Goodnight Picture, nor write up my blog. What would Master be thinking? I turned off my phone to save power, and hoped it would last till the end of the week. Though settings told me it wouldn’t. I went to bed crying that night. The stress of the day, a lack of exercise, and worry. What would Master be thinking? Why can’t I just obey him, like I want so much to do? Why can’t I be good for him? Why does life have to get in the way of everything? I better go before I start crying right now at the memory.

I’m sorry Master, for not updating my blog, for not doing my Snapchat picture, for not trying more. I’m sorry.

Eruanna

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