Day 45, Monday 29th of December 2014

for some reason I couldt edit my previous post from the iPad. So I’m restarting it here. Please excuse my lack of punctuation and spelling.

Dear Diary

I woke up with a odd small smile on my cheeks. Today was Monady. Today master would/might/could/maybe contact me. I watched TV for most of the morning until dinner, only interrupted by 10 minutes on the treadmill (grandma made me) and reading between shows. Just before dinner I had a thought. How can a person be so stupid? My iPhone was turned off, and had been for a couple of days. There was no way he could Snapchat or even Skype me. The nearest he could get was commenting on my blog, not that I knew how to even see a comment yet. Anyway so I logged onto Skype via Safari, discovered Grandma had a Skype app and logged on there, and then sent a message to Master. He hasn’t replied yet, not that he made any promises. It was Grandma’s iPad too so it should have gotten through. Would he be mad about me having gone to Grandma’s? I certainly hoped not. After dinner I wrote my blog and then now I’m going to bed. Not much may have happened today, but im tired so, Goodnight.

Love Eruanna

(maybe he’ll see it tomorrow!)

Day 44, Sunday 28th December 2014

Dear diary

today I woke up at grandma’s and (sorry I just realised she doesn’t have spellcheck on her iPad) and I went to find something to eat. After a Weetbix breakfast I put some ice blocks  in a cup and go watch the movie that Bengamin’s playing in the theatre. After that I head back out to get some new ice blocks and I spot Grandma’s iPad. I remember that I have to start my blog from yesterday. I log on the the WordPress website from her iPad and begin to type my apologies. For some reason I can’t think straight with something so pressing in my head.  Then I take it down into the theatre where I do a sort of stop-start typing while trying to watch the movie at the same time. It’s hard and every time I stop to watch the movie I have to bring myself to keep typing. I don’t get very much done, and by the time dinner rolls around I’m not even half done. I do the rest by the TV, and Grandma soon asks what I’m doing. She can’t see what I’m typing, not that I’ve typed anything about Master so far anyway. I reply that it’s a diary entry and that I want to finish it before tomorrow.  She gives me until 10:30, which is now. Hence why this is so short Master, not that anything major happened today at all anyway. I’m sorry I didnt get to write as much as I would have liked, nor that i will be able to send you your Snapchat picture tonight. I’m sorry. Eruanna

Day 43, Saturday 27th of December 2014

I’m sorry I didn’t get to post last night, dad has supposedly fixed the Internet and now Grandma and Grandad have a new password for it. According to the settings on it, it will only last 2 hours without another charge and Grandma doesn’t have her charger her so I can’t even go on it. I’m typing this on Grandma’s IPad and a day late at that. I should probably start the actual blog post, but I just wanted to say I’m sorry for all that first.

I laid in bed for most of the morning, and when I finally got up to have  breakfast/lunch half the family had taken Ollie for a walk. They were gone for ages and only Benjamin, me, Dad, and Grandad stayed back. When they did come back, I kept reading my book for a bit. Every now and then something reminded me of Master. I touched my iPhone more times than I can count, thinking he could have texted. I’ve almost convinced myself it was habit. Almost. Somewhere around lunchtime, though I couldn’t be sure, Mum said Grandma called and she had said we could go over there for a couple of days. If we wanted to go we had to pack quick. 5 minutes she said. I didn’t want to go, my connection to Master, though he wasn’t talking to me, was here. The pool, which if the following days were anything like today, was here. Our house had cooler airconditioning, a stack of books I had recently gotten from the library (as tall as my knee from the floor), and a daybed out the front. I didn’t want to go to Grandma’s. First I had to give mum a reason. The only one that popped into my head inclded Master. I knew that weird reasons incite questions, and I promised Master that my parents wouldn’t find out about us. That, and I couldn’t figure out how I would even say something like that. So I packed before I got into trouble, and stole away to the currently empty car to text Master. I wasnt sure if I was allowed to text him because of my punishment, but if come Monday I was still without working Internet then I would have been kicking myself for not texting him anyway. Mum and Benjamin came into the car then, and soon dad and Catherine followed. I put my iPhone away before they could see what I was doing. And more importantly, before Benjamin could ask. When we got to grandma’s, I wasn’t feeling too well so I went and laid on my bed, reading the one book I brought with me. We had dinner, and then went on a walk with Ollie. i went to bed, where I worried. And worried. My iPhone was low on power, I couldn’t send Master my Goodnight Picture, nor write up my blog. What would Master be thinking? I turned off my phone to save power, and hoped it would last till the end of the week. Though settings told me it wouldn’t. I went to bed crying that night. The stress of the day, a lack of exercise, and worry. What would Master be thinking? Why can’t I just obey him, like I want so much to do? Why can’t I be good for him? Why does life have to get in the way of everything? I better go before I start crying right now at the memory.

I’m sorry Master, for not updating my blog, for not doing my Snapchat picture, for not trying more. I’m sorry.


Why I’m lucky to have been born as me

1. A list of all the things I like about myself
•My body, sort of. I’m not fat, which is pure luck even the amount of chocolate I eat, so my figure is one I have to like. I could be skinnier if I actually tried, but the fact I’m a nice 60kg without trying is something I like about myself
•I’m a good reader, I can read for hours on end, which will come in handy at Uni.
•I have my own style, and nothing Catherine says will change that. It doesn’t have to be over 50 dollars to be pretty. The cheaper the better.
•I don’t swear, it’s like a superpower. I don’t even have to work at it
•I have I’m-better-than-the-next-guy Photoshop skills. As long as you want to look worse than you’re original photo. I’m a self-taught professional. Literally- mum and dad make awesome zombies!
•I’m not afraid to do things alittle out there. To say things no-one else will say, sometimes that works out as good, sometimes it doesn’t
•I’m not brag-er I don’t feel the need to brag about things, however impressive
•I can talk to random strangers without it seeming awkward
•I can write in the dark, without seeing (unfortunately not neatly)
•I can run on my tippy-toes
•I can do a bendback
•I can do a cartwheel
•I have a family containing a Mum, Dad, Little sister, little brother, and a dog. All who love me
•I have a Master that loves me